Fun and Games
by Dragonflyr
Summary: Kurama has always played the Game to read other people's souls, but when Hiei unexpectedly offers something precious in return can he accept it or has he bitten off more than he can chew? Warnings: KuramaxHiei Shonen Ai Please R
1. The Game

This is an idea that I have had for some time and decided to start in order to take my mind off of "Eyewash" for a while. For those of you reading this who are fans of my other story "Eyewash," I apologies for the infrequent updates to that story. To put it simply, I have been experiencing a bit of writer's block and am hoping that focusing on a new project for a while might help.

For those of you who have read my other story "9 Months" I would briefly direct your attention to chapter twenty "First Kiss" in which Kurama thinks about a Game of emotions he has played with partners and potential partners for many years. This story is an expansion of the concept of the Game and a different twist from "9 Months" on the outcome of playing this Game with Hiei.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters or anything else that is protected under copyright in relation to the series.

Warnings: Shonen ai, a Kurama and Hiei relationship to be exact. That's about it I guess, so let us begin.

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**T**he Game, Youko Kurama's Game, was a tool so integrated into the thief's nature that even he could not remember the first time he had used it. It was a tool like any other at his disposal, designed to eliminate the threat of betrayal and thus offer him safety, or as much safety as one could expect in the wilds of Makai. Youko had delved deep into many souls with the use of the Game. Some had become what might almost pass for friends while others were utterly destroyed by it.

Yomi had been one of the latter. The Game had revealed that the young demon's rashness and recklessness were traits that ran deep into his very soul, so deep that Youko was forced to reevaluate his then lover as an unnecessary risk worthy only of disposal. Many others of the type came before and after Yomi, though the future Makai lord was the only one Youko ever allowed to live.

The Game continued for centuries. It was simple enough to play and the youko rather enjoyed gaining such intimate information so easily. Throughout the Game he would remain stoic, his own emotions unnecessary in the gauging of another's. And so it went, the bored youko playing his Game with all who crossed his path and never once opening his own cold heart to any living demon he met.

When he met a young bat demon named Kuronue, Youko initiated the Game as he would with anyone else. He was surprised, however, and not entirely prepaired for the outcome he received. The Game was designed to create trust, or at least a semblance of trust, and make any demons intent to plot against him plain to Youko's piercing golden gaze. Kuronue took the trust offered him and returned it tenfold. He accepted the simple bond the legendary thief gave him and gave back one that was a hundred times stronger. Kuronue did something no one else had ever done; he was playing the Game using love as his bargaining chip.

Youko had been offered love before, on a monthly basis in fact, but not the kind of love Kuronue offered. The bat felt a kind of love that was more or less nonexistent in Makai, a kind that was warm and comforting and unconditional. Having never experienced such an emotion before, Youko treated it as nothing but another part of the Game and continued his play, stretching and testing his partner's love. He wanted to know how much "unconditional" really meant to Kuronue. He wanted to find the breaking point. It's hard to say whether Kuronue was aware that the emotions returned to him from Youko were hollowed by the Game. Then again, perhaps he was aware and that too was counterbalanced by the bat's unconditional feelings.

As the Game requires a living specimen to function, Kuronue's death ended it. A dark depression overcame Youko and horrible emptiness dominated his being. He retreated from public view, cutting all ties with any other living being, and spent hours contemplating his pain. Inevitably he came to realize what had happened. Kuronue had given him love and Youko's buried heart had warmed to the feeling and eagerly returned it. For the purposes of the Game, however, he had made himself ignorant to his own feelings and only became aware of them when they were crushed by the death of the one he loved.

Youko vowed never to play the Game again after that. While his legend still remained strong throughout Makai, its fame was based on past adventures as Youko remained in the alone shadows. The jobs he accepted from then on were few and far between and he completed every one of them alone and promptly disappeared again once it was done. It was on one such job that his troubled heart blinded him to the obvious warning signs and he was shot by a bounty hunter.

The following years in Ningenkai were spent much as the final years as Youko had been spent, cold and unfeeling as pain ate away at his heart with him refusing to let anyone else in for fear of increasing that pain. That is, until Shiori, an ordinary human, broke through and offered much the same unconditional feeling as Kuronue had so many years before. Though still wary of being hurt, Kurama would not waste the precious gift again.

Time went on and Kurama felt the dark pain within himself receding more and more with every passing day. That slow healing process was sped up considerably as he found himself forming friendships with two human boys and one surly demon, as well as a few others besides. These were not the questionable and often temporary partnerships between demons either, these were true trusting friends. More often than not Kurama found his smiles to be genuine and he was happy and comfortable in a way that he didn't think Youko had ever been.

Subtly, without his even noticing, the Game began to come out in his personality again. He didn't play it as he used to, with everyone he met, but focused it instead on only one of his new found friends. The grumpy half-Koorime: Hiei. Truly the fox didn't even fully realize what he was doing. He only knew that he wanted to know more about the little demon. Hiei had lived such a hard and, quite frankly, traumatizing life that Kurama wanted to know how far the fire demon would let a relationship with someone else grow. The bond they had could barely be called friendship. It was more of a general understanding and tolerance of each other than anything else. Was that as far as Hiei was willing to let it go? Kurama didn't know.

He had not seen Hiei for nearly a year. He remembered their parting in the forest after the Makai Tournament. Hiei had bristled when Kurama implied that he was not interested in finding a lover in the little demon, but Hiei was such an incredible master of his emotions that it was hard to take that clue on way or the other. One thing he did know, however, was that despite popular rumor Hiei had not taken to Mukuro's bed either and that was something else to digest. Perhaps he truly was unwilling to let anyone past his barriers, or, and Kurama thought this much more probable, maybe the half-Koorime was simply unable to. After all he had endured in his harsh life, it was certainly understandable.

In any case, Kurama wished he had been allowed some more time with the fire demon to find out. He was contemplating all this late one sleepless night and was so lost in his thoughts that the being at the window had to clear its throat before the fox took notice of it. And there was Hiei! Dressed in his familiar black ensemble he regarded his old friend with the barest hint of amusement.

"You're slipping, Fox," he commented dryly.

"Hiei!" Kurama sat up from where he had been reclined on his bed to face the demon. "What brings you here?"

"Actually," the shorter demon replied, settling into a comfortable position on the window sill, "I am somewhat in need of your assistance."

"Really?" Kurama asked, interested. He had not expected Hiei to show up out of the blue in the middle of the night and certainly not with a mission proposition.

"A thief broke into Mukuro's vaults and stole several intelligence documents," Hiei explained, "most of them concerning a sparsely inhabited mountainous area on her northern boarders. As far as Mukuro can tell he has taken refuge within that very area and effectively left us with no knowledge of what may be there."

"Ahh," Kurama broke in, "and so you were hoping to use a thief to catch a thief then, is that it?"

"Something like that," Hiei smirked. Kurama felt himself smile in return, a true smile as opposed to Hiei's smirk. This was his chance, his chance to finish the Game and discover the true depth of Hiei's emotions. He would soon discover the extent of what the secretive little demon was willing to give to another.

**(xxx)**

**T**he Makain sun filtered through the topmost branches of the forest they traveled through as they reached the foothills of the mountains. Conversation had been minimal, as was always the case with Hiei, but even so Kurama was contented with the fact that the fire demon was walking beside him and not leaving him behind to flit through the trees.

The sun fell lower and they made camp on the last stretch of level ground before the start of the gentle incline. There was silence between them, as there had been all day. Hiei's unnatural black flames served as their fire and Kurama quietly prepaired their meal. He stole several glances at Hiei throughout the process, always looking away again before the half-Koorime could catch his eye.

He had yet to initiate a new step in the Game and was hoping to begin to do so by tomorrow. The problem was that his influence on the demon had wavered with their separation and though their relationship was the same on the surface Kurama was well aware of the new barriers Hiei had built since they had last spoken. What Kurama couldn't tell, however, was whether these barriers were always in place and had perhaps grown out of dealings with Mukuro or if these obstacles were against Kurama alone.

They ate their meals in silence and as soon as he was done Hiei vanished without a word. Kurama had been expecting this and settled himself down to sleep by the fire Hiei had left burning. If Kurama's assumptions were correct concerning Hiei's new barriers then it appeared that he and the fire demon had taken a step backwards. Deciding that tomorrow would be dedicated to regaining lost ground, Kurama feel into an easy sleep.

**(xxx)**

**H**iei sat high in a tree above the campsite, watching Kurama sleep. He had not been ignorant to the glances Kurama had been giving him throughout the day. Indeed, he could feel those emerald eyes burning into him from a mile away, let alone a few feet. He sighed, tilting his head back to stare at the dark Makain sky.

"Kurama, what do you want?" he whispered, the words lost to the wind almost before they reached his ears. Games, the fox was always playing games, and it wouldn't have worried Hiei so much if he only knew what the former thief was after. Kurama was forever leading him along, or attempting to do so anyway. Setting verbal traps, trying to get _something_ from Hiei but the fire demon was never sure what. He had watched for years as Kurama tried to worm his way through Hiei's defenses, and in all that time Hiei had never been able to discern a reason why.

When the games without reason had finally begun to truly unnerve the fire demon he had tried to use separation in the hopes that Kurama would give up, but the fox never did. Whenever he could help it Hiei kept his distance. He stayed away from the fox after Koenma forced them into the Maze Castle conflict and only reunited with Kurama when he was once again forced to do so during the Dark Tournament. He kept his distance afterwards as well, ignoring the effects of Sensui's psychic hole for as long as he could.

Mukuro's summons had finally given him a real chance to isolate himself from the fox. There was only so far he could go while contained in Ningenkai, but in Makai he finally felt free of the fox's scrutinizing. Even at Yusuke's tournament he hardly talked to Kurama and had only offered him a parting conversation because it felt somehow wrong to forgo it.

And yet, to Hiei's amazement and confusion, he found himself thinking about Kurama whenever he was away from the fox. He simply could not understand Kurama's motives behind his actions and brooded what they might be for hours. Kurama did not want to use Hiei as far as the half-Koorime could tell, and Hiei could usually tell fairly easily if that was what someone was after. But if not that then what was the fox after? Hiei had even tried accommodated Kurama's advances, offering him friendship in the hope that letting down his outer barriers in such a way would satisfy the fox. But Kurama wanted more than that.

Hiei had been driving himself mad with his musings over Kurama's reasons when finally Mukuro asked him what was bothering him. Without reason to, Hiei found himself giving her a summary, albeit a brief on, of Kurama's confusing games and Hiei's inability to understand the purpose behind them. Mukuro had only smiled and then instructed Hiei to resolve things under the pretense of a mission. There was no thief and no stolen documents to recover. There was only Hiei and Kurama and time.

Hiei sighed again, opening his eyes to gaze again at the sleeping redhead. Though he hadn't been sure what to do with Mukuro's answer to the problem when she had given it, he had since decided on the only course of action he could see that would finally bring an end to this. He would have to know directly from Kurama what he wanted. He would have to read the kitsune's very soul to find his answer.

Hiei had not attempted a soul reading in a few decades at least. It was a horrible drain on both him and the one he read. Though the Jagan was used mostly for matters of the mind and telekinesis, it was also a key tool in performing a successful soul reading. However, the Jagan was not a gentle tool and an enormous amount of energy must be consumed to gear it precisely towards finding the absolute truth within the soul and not merely tearing the soul to shreds in search of it.

Hiei closed his eyes to get at least a few hours sleep. Tomorrow he would finally know what the fox was after and he could deal with the answer then.

**(xxx)**

**K**urama awoke to a bright, warm day. Yawning, he stretched and then proceeded to cook breakfast from their supplies. He was resolved to do everything he could to regain what trust had been lost between himself and Hiei and then to resume his strategic burrowing through the fire demon's tight defenses. Just as he finished Hiei reappeared from wherever he had spent the night. Kurama smiled at him in greeting before passing him his half of the food.

Hiei didn't feel particularly hungry in light of what he was about to do, but he ate anyway. He needed to conserve any and all strength he could gather. The meal was eaten in silence, but Hiei felt Kurama keep looking at him as he had done all yesterday as well. He stubbornly kept his eyes on his plate, letting Kurama think his looks sly enough to go unnoticed.

When they had finished, Kurama prepaired to leave. Hiei stood and watched the fox repack his gear. The redhead was kneeling on the ground and so only slightly shorter than Hiei was standing, ideal for the soul reading since they would have to be at eyelevel with one another to complete it. Removing the ward over the Jagan, Hiei used as minimal an amount of energy as he could to ward the area against intruding demons. Mukuro had assured him the mountains were unpopulated, but the soul reading would leave both himself and Kurama vulnerable to attack and Hiei wasn't taking any chances.

Hiei approached Kurama in the midst of his packing. The kitsune saw the black boots stop just in front of him and looked up. He froze when he saw the Jagan glowing brightly in the middle of Hiei's forehead. A feeling of uncertainty and foreboding stole over him. Before Kurama could react, Hiei took the fox's chin firmly in his grasp and knelt until they were exactly at eyelevel.

"No more games, Kurama," Hiei said icily, no emotion in his voice, "tell me why." Pain exploded in Kurama's head and he tried to cry out, but his voice was lost as everything became blackness and nothingness swallowed him.


	2. The Answer

Alright, now that we've gotten the Game explanations out of the way this thing can start really moving now. My other shonen ai fics focus more on Hiei than Kurama and so I'm hoping to display them both more equally in this story. Enjoy.

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**K**urama couldn't tell if he was falling or floating. Everything and nothing seemed to exist all at once in a senseless confusion that was perfectly organized. Right, left, up, down; directions were nonexistent and he found himself unable to regain his balance. Colors flashed around them and he didn't just see them, he experienced them: the spicy smell of green; the refreshing taste of blue; the violent sounds of red; the soft downy feel of yellow.

His head swam as he tried to discern if he was standing up or lying down. A vibration filled the air and Kurama felt the question that formed itself there. It flowed around him and through him, filling the entire space. He was surprised the words didn't print themselves in the blackness before his eyes with their sheer intensity.

**WHAT DO YOU SEEK TO GAIN FROM ME?**

Kurama was lost in confusion. The question demanded an answer but he could think of none to give, he wasn't even sure of whom the question was referring to. Before he could think about it further, however, a replying vibration echoed the first one and Kurama knew it to be his answer. It was him, his soul, transmuted into words.

_I ONLY WANT WHAT YOU WILL FREELY GIVE._

Silence followed this. Nothingness dominated the space. There were no more colors or feelings or experiences, just nothing. Kurama tired to sort out what had just happened but was still unsure. The answer had been his, but even he was unsure of what it meant. Then the nothingness dissolved and the pain returned.

Crying out, Kurama fell forward onto the ground, clutching his head. A long disoriented moment passed in which he tried to make sense of the dirt and trees and sunlight around him after the nothingness of moments ago. The sun was low in the sky and night was creeping upon the land with cold fingers. He lay there for a long moment, panting as though he had just run several miles and closing his eyes against the pain that still pounded the inside of his skull.

Some minutes passed, or perhaps it was seconds Kurama was too disturbed to tell, and then the fox was aware of someone gently stroking his hair in an effort to calm him. Cracking one eye opened, he looked up to find Hiei crouched beside him, the Jagan resealed and an odd soft look in the demon's eyes that didn't belong there. Somewhat started by the fire demon's unwonted behavior the redhead moved back and away from the other's touch. Hiei looked up and met the fox's emerald stare. His crimson eyes narrowed in confusion as he took in the scared look there.

"Kurama…" Hiei began. Kurama scooted farther back as the half-Koorime reached for him. The former thief was too far off balance to make sense of much of anything outside the face that Hiei was acting strangely and this variation was enough to alarm the unnerved kitsune.

"Kurama, I'm sorry," Hiei whispered after a tense moment. Kurama just stared. Hiei never apologized. "I should have realized how badly a soul reading would affect you."

"Soul reading?" Kurama finally managed to speak, his mind automatically assigning importance to the term despite the fox's inability to fully process why.

"Yes, Kurama…" Hiei sighed, trying to reach for the fox again only to have Kurama back himself into a tree. "Fox, calm down."

Kurama took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. A soul reading…the nothingness; things were starting to make sense. Then the question… He looked up at Hiei again, the fear slowly replaced by confusion.

Hiei smiled as the frazzled fox visibly calmed; at least the fox wasn't scared of him anymore. Kurama, however, was shaken anew at the expression. It wasn't a smirk or a sly grin but a true and genuine smile of happiness. Kurama had never seen such a look from the small demon before. The crimson eyes were still too soft to belong to Hiei. The redhead swallowed nervously.

"Hiei, I…" he tried to form some sort of explanation but trailed off as Hiei slowly approached him. Though a part of him wanted to, Kurama forced himself not to run from his friend. He sat perfectly still as Hiei knelt before him. The smaller demon's smile took on a more amused hint as he watched the confused redhead.

"I wonder," he mused quietly, "if even you knew what you were after, Fox." Then, without warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to Kurama's. Kurama was too shocked to do anything but stare wide-eyed at the demon he thought he had understood so completely. When he pulled back Hiei chuckled quietly at the look on his stunned fox's face. "I thought not."

"H-Hiei!" Kurama managed to sputter, beginning to feel as though he might faint if this continued.

"You should rest, Fox. I used up most of your energy during the reading," Hiei said as he stood up, the smile gone and his normal emotionless mask back in place. Then Hiei's form blurred and vanished, leaving Kurama alone to sort out his confused thoughts in the growing night.

**(xxx)  
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**H**iei sat in the same tree as the previous night so he could keep an eye on Kurama. Truthfully, he had known that the fox would be shaken by the soul reading but had no idea how violently unnerved it would leave the redhead. Kurama remained leaning against the tree where Hiei had left him and the demon turned is wine gaze towards the sky. He contemplated Kurama's answer.

_I ONLY WANT WHAT YOU WILL FREELY GIVE._

That was the answer his soul had offered to Hiei, the absolute truth of the kitsune's heart. Never had a soul given him such an answer before. The answers were always selfish, geared towards using Hiei in some form or another. But Kurama's answer was completely selfless. Hiei had never even considered such an answer.

In the midst of the soul reading Hiei felt his own soul, his own absolute truth, answer Kurama. His defenses were just that, defenses. They were built to protect, not isolate and imprison. His soul ached for the freedom to connect with another. Solitude had been forced upon him; it was not his chosen lifestyle. Even his own sister was forbidden to him. Kurama was offering him a chance, a bond that was safe to accept without fear of betrayal. He would not force anything from Hiei and would take whatever the half-Koorime chose to give. Or so Hiei had thought.

"Can you take what I have to give, Kurama?" Hiei spoke to the wind. "Can you really accept it?"

Hiei brought a hand up to his lips, the lips that had touched Kurama's. He had always been so wary of the fox and his undefined intentions, but now he knew what Kurama was after and his eyes were opened to the former thief for the first time. He wondered how the redhead's incredible beauty could have escaped him for so long. He wanted that feeling of kissing Kurama again. He wanted that and so much more.

Despite his wants, however, he would not force himself on the fox. Though he had laughed at seeing the look on the redhead's face after he kissed him Hiei had been hurt deeply by it. It was too late to place anymore barriers between himself and Kurama now. There was no going back and Hiei was left without his sanctuary to hide from pain. He was opened and raw for the first time in his life and had been surprised to realize that every trouble of Kurama's echoed painfully in his own chest. Forcing Kurama would only hurt him, and Hiei couldn't bare the pain of that. He bit his lip as he remembered the pain Kurama had been in when Hiei awoke him from the soul reading.

"I'll never hurt you, Kurama," he vowed to the night air. "Whatever comes of this, I'll leave you before I hurt you."

Sighing in frustration Hiei crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and fell into an energy restoring sleep.

**(xxx)**

**K**urama sat motionlessly for some time, his mind reeling as he tried to understand all that had just happened. Hiei had performed a soul reading. That was the safest place to start. Thinking back on the strange nothingness Kurama tried to make sense of it. Obviously the question had been asked by Hiei. But why would Hiei ask that? Why would he think that Kurama was trying to gain something from him?

A cold shock ran through Kurama's body as his mind made the connection. Even just yesterday he had been trying to strategize as to how to break through the new barriers Hiei had put up around himself. All this time and he had never noticed. He was playing the Game once again.

"Damn it," he swore quietly wondering how he could have let himself slip into such old habits. Thinking back he tried to assure himself that he had never initiated the Game with anyone but Hiei. He was fairly sure he hadn't. That's what the soul reading had been about. Hiei had recognized Kurama's moves to get close to him but, ignorant of the Game, hadn't understood why.

Kurama groaned as Hiei's bizarre behavior began to make sense. He was reacting to the Game the way that only one other person ever had. He was reacting like Kuronue. He had done the soul reading and gotten his answer and accepted it. He had accepted Kurama's reason and opened his heart in return.

"Hiei loves me," he whispered to himself. He had come to believe that the little demon, with all his scars, was incapable of loving another. He remembered the soft, gentle look in those ruby eyes and the warm smile. And he remembered the kiss.

"Hiei, I don't want to hurt you," Kurama said brokenly. Though he had played the Game, he had not done so with Youko's coldness. His heart was on his sleeve and now it ached for the little demon. Though he had been testing Hiei's reaction at the time, his words at their parting a year ago had been true. He wasn't interested in Hiei that way.

"Gods, what have I done?" Kurama muttered helplessly. Shaking his head he made to cover his face with his hands. His arms felt like lead and Kurama was suddenly aware of the extreme fatigue he felt. He was exhausted both physically and spiritually. Remembering Hiei's words he decided that sleeping was really the only thing he could do now. Somehow he would have to sort this all out in the morning.

Feeling guilty and depressed he half-fell onto his side, curled up in a ball, and slipped into a troubled sleep.


	3. The Promise

A huge thank you to all my reviewers and everyone else who has read and not reviewed. It has been a while since a new story of mine has received such enthusiastic approval so immediately. It's truly appreciated, thank you. I spent all day trying to figure out what to do next and the perfect thing finally came to me. I hope you enjoy it.

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**S**unlight filtered through the leaves and fell in broken patches on the redhead lying on the ground. Kurama had been awake for some time but found he lacked the will to get up. Since dawn he had laid there mulling over the events of the previous day. He had easily come up with a solution to the situation, one that would cause minimal damage to Hiei, but he was surprised to find himself reluctant to go through with it. He wondered if Hiei had ever truly allowed himself to love anyone else before now. Even if he didn't return the feelings it wasn't right to destroy something so precious and rare.

While Kurama thought the sun had been climbing higher and higher in the sky and now aimed its rays uncomfortably at the fox's eyes. Sighing, Kurama forced himself up. Though the energy he had lost during the soul reading had been refreshed by last night's sleep, Kurama still felt drained and out of sorts. Almost lethargically he began to cook breakfast. Despite his worries about Hiei, Kurama hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day and he was hungry.

The fire was still that of Hiei's unnatural black flames. As he cooked the fox's eyes drifted to the flames themselves. He watched them leap and dance, spiking up and dipping down endlessly. He noticed for the first time that the fire wasn't destroying the wood within it. The same logs from the first night lay in the heart of the flames untouched. The fire needed the wood to exist, but not as a regular fire did. He wondered how that was possible.

"You are letting the food burn." Kurama jumped at the familiar deep voice behind him. He quickly removed the smoking pan and frowned at the blackened contents.

Hiei could easily see that Kurama still hadn't fully recovered from yesterday's excitement. It wasn't like the fox to be so distracted so easily. Silently he took the pan from Kurama, dumped the ruined food into the bushes and returned to the fire to start again. When he caught the redhead's questioning glance he said simply, "Let me do it."

Kurama watched as Hiei prepaired a new meal for them. It was odd to watch the demon pay so much attention to the task. Kurama was surprised to see the little demon acting so domestic. Then again, Hiei had been surprising him a lot lately.

Hiei could feel Kurama's eyes watching him. It wasn't uncomfortable but at the same time it was because the attention awakened responses within him, responses that Kurama wasn't ready for yet. Closing his eyes briefly Hiei regained control of himself and went on cooking. When the food was ready he passed Kurama his share in silence.

Kurama ate his food slowly, thinking again of his plan to resolve this. It still felt wrong to do that to Hiei but things could not continue like this. The tension between them was electric and what was worse was that it was his fault. The tables had been turned and now Hiei was the one trying to get to Kurama while the fox hid himself behind walls of shame and guilt. He had to do something before everything between them was utterly destroyed.

Not lifting his eyes from his plate Kurama judged the direction of the wind. Hiei was sitting downwind from him, eating quietly and not looking at the redhead. Sighing regretfully, Kurama dropped a seed behind his back and then enveloped it in his ki. In seconds the flower had sprung up behind him, opening its pale petals and allowing its pollen to drift out over the fox's head.

Hiei tensed as he detected something in the air, something that hadn't been there a moment ago. Looking up he found a cloud of golden pollen settling lazily around him. Kurama gazed at him with sad eyes, a tall flower spewing pollen behind him. Hiei recognized the flower. The first time they had met the fox had used it on a human girl. Even as his vision began to grow hazy Hiei found himself laughing.

"So this is your answer?" Hiei asked with a smile. "You would have me forget and believe it all to have been a dream?" Kurama opened his mouth but was unable to answer. The smile on Hiei's face told him clearly that the fire demon held no grudge against him for this. He accepted it, just as he had accepted everything Kurama had done to him.

"If that is what you want, Kurama, then so be it," Hiei said quietly. He was feeling dizzy now and he knew he would be unconscious in a few seconds. If he had wanted to he could have easily negated the pollen's effects with the Jagan, but he would not fight Kurama. He smiled again, his eyes softening as Kurama and the rest of the world began to fade. "Pleasant dreams, Fox," he whispered. Then he slumped forward to the ground.

Kurama stared at Hiei's crumpled form. The plant behind him silently closed up and shrunk to a seed once more as the pollen dissipated. Slowly he moved to crouch beside Hiei. He reached out a hand to touch the half-Koorime but pulled back when he realized his hand was shaking. He clenched his fist and closed his eyes, trying to forget the smile Hiei had given him as he fell under the full effects of the pollen.

The pollen only put the victim in a hypnotic state, Kurama still needed to give a suggestion to Hiei before the memories, and the feelings, of the past day would be erased. Taking a shaky breath Kurama opened his mouth to give the command but faltered. Hiei's face flashed again in his memory and he bit his lip. He had been prepaired for Hiei to fight him, to be angry with him, but instead the fire demon had let it happen quietly. That spoke of how deeply his feelings ran. Licking his lips Kurama tried again but the words caught in his throat.

"Damn it, Hiei!" Kurama finally cried, slamming his fists down on the ground in frustration. He looked again at his friend's unconscious form and gave himself over to the emotions that had been threatening to explode since yesterday. "I can't," he said, shaking his head and beating his fists on the ground again. "I can't do it. I can't…" he trailed off, his anger replaced by something softer. Reaching out he gently turned the smaller demon onto his back, letting Hiei's head rest in his lap.

"You really do love me, don't you Hiei?" Kurama said quietly. As though those words were the key to the door barring his emotions, Kurama was suddenly overwhelmed. He felt tears in his eyes as his entire body began to shake. Without thinking he ran a hand through the raven spikes and was surprised by how soft they were. He continued petting the demon as words began to spill past his lips.

"I can't make you forget. Not this. Not love. I can't. Even if I don't feel the same it doesn't give me the right to take it from you. Love is too precious to lose, even unrequited love." Kurama paused for a moment to regain his self control, wiping his eyes and taking deep breaths. He looked down at Hiei's unconscious form and noted how much younger he looked when he was asleep. He continued to stroke the fire demon's hair as a soft smile began to grow on his face. He felt something warm within himself. Not love, not fully blossomed love, but a bud. A fragile bud that needed some care yet before it would spread its petals, but a bud all the same.

"Hiei," Kurama began quietly, a hint of affection hidden in his tone, "I have a favor to ask of you." Hiei stirred slightly and Kurama smiled a bit wider, wondering if he should take that as a response. "Wait for me, Hiei. I know patience isn't one of your strong points, but please wait just a little while. You've gone and jumped a hundred steps ahead and now you've got to give me some time to catch up." Kurama bent over until his face was inches from the sleeping fire demon's. "I will love you, Hiei. I already do a bit, but it feels premature. Let it grow for a while. I promise you that I will love you Hiei." Kurama laid his lips on Hiei's forehead, sealing his promise. "Wait for me."

**(xxx)**

**A** tantalizing aroma greeted Hiei as he came slowly to consciousness. Sitting up he looked around cautiously. The sun was low in the sky and Kurama was busy cooking dinner, the source of the appetizing smells. Something, however, still felt out of place to the half-Koorime. Then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to remember. Kurama had used dream flower pollen on him and yet as far as he could tell all of his memories leading up to that moment were perfectly in place. Getting up he approached the fire. Kurama looked up when he heard footsteps and smiled at Hiei.

"Good evening, Hiei," Kurama greeted. Hiei regarded him in silence for a moment.

"What happened to erasing my memories?" he asked quietly. Kurama paused in his cooking, his eyes shifting between Hiei's boots and the food.

"I changed my mind," he replied. Hiei snorted and Kurama looked up to find the fire demon smiling at him.

"You changed your mind?" Hiei repeated. "You couldn't have changed it before you knocked me out?"

Kurama didn't answer but smiled in return. Laughter danced in Hiei's crimson eyes and it wasn't unnerving anymore but new and refreshing to see. He finished cooking and they ate their meal in silence but it was a comfortable silence. The tension between them was gone and both of them could feel how much lighter the air felt. The bond between them had more or less been restored to what it was previous to the soul reading, with one crucial difference. It now lacked the unease and uncertainty it had once been burdened with. It was true and mutual friendship now with the potential for so much more.

As Kurama reflected on all of this he found his attention drawn to the fire once more. He gradually became aware of the fact that Hiei would know the secret to the odd black flames, they were his after all. Not only that, but Kurama was now in a position to ask and perhaps actually receive an answer.

"Hiei," he asked experimentally, "what keeps this fire burning?"

"It feeds off ki," Hiei answered simply. _'An immediate response,'_ Kurama noted, _'that's new.'_

"I know you started it with your ki, but why doesn't it burn wood?" Kurama countered, wondering how long he could keep Hiei talking.

"No, you misunderstood me," Hiei replied. Standing up he moved to sit next to Kurama by the fire, leaving plenty of space between them. "It feeds of ki, not just my ki."

"What?" Kurama blinked, truly intrigued now. Hiei sighed. This was not something he had ever explained to anyone else and he wasn't used to describing such things. With anyone else he would have grunted and left by now, but Kurama was giving him his full attention and Hiei found he genuinely wanted to give the fox a satisfactory answer.

"You are a plant user," he stared uncertainly, hoping this would make sense as he kept going.

"What has that got to do with—?" Hiei cut off the question and continued, "Plants, like any living thing, have their own ki that they use in various ways, Makain plants especially." He paused and looked at Kurama, who nodded his agreement. Feeling somewhat better for the encouragement Hiei resumed his explanation. "The fire doesn't burn the wood because its fuel isn't the wood itself but the wood's ki."

"That still doesn't explain how the fire sustained itself for three days," Kurama observed. "Those logs don't have an unlimited supply of ki, it should be depleted eventually."

"It's a cycle," Hiei said, pausing as he tried to break down and expand that idea. "The energy isn't lost."

"I know that," Kurama replied, "the energy is converted to heat by the fire."

"And then converted back," Hiei added.

"What?" Kurama stared at the half-Koorime in confusion. Hiei looked lost for a moment, struggling to explain.

"The heat from my fire isn't fully converted," he began slowly, "when it is absorbed by something else it becomes energy again. I've found it useful particularly when it comes to food. Anything cooked on that fire contains an added boost of energy from the heat it absorbed." Kurama processed that for a moment. He hadn't noticed before but he could feel from his energy level that Hiei was right about the food.

"So if the fire converts heat to energy why doesn't it just sustain itself without the logs?" Kurama asked after a moment.

"No, it doesn't convert its own heat," Hiei corrected, "other things convert the heat. It needs a medium to feed heat to and draw back energy." Emerald eyes lit up in sudden understanding and Hiei felt himself smile a little in triumph.

"I see," Kurama smiled, looking at the fire, "it won't destroy the logs because it needs them." Hiei nodded, his gaze fixed on the redhead. "The fire gives heat to receive energy," the fox continued excitedly, "and neither is destroyed in the process."

"No, they don't hurt each other," Hiei agreed, his voice slightly more husky as he leaning a little closer to the redhead. Desire was bubbling up within him and he knew he should get away from the fox before he did something regrettable but the desire compelled him to stay. Kurama noticed the odd tone in the fire demon's voice and turned to find Hiei much closer than the fox remembered with a new light in his ruby eyes that Kurama wasn't ready to recognize yet.

"Hiei…" he said quietly. Hiei blinked and then looked away, scooting back to his previous distance. The tension was back between them again and both felt it acutely.

"We should get some rest so we can get back to what we came here for tomorrow," Kurama suggested. Hiei looked up but decided against telling Kurama the truth of the fake mission. He wasn't sure if the kitsune would take the opportunity to leave or not. He would never admit it to Kurama but he had heard every word the fox had said while under the effects of the pollen. _'I will wait for you, Kurama,'_ he vowed. _'Forgive me this deception; it's only to give you more time.' _

Hiei stood and made to blur away but paused, his form hazing out and then back into focus. In a flash he jumped up and reappeared a second later on the lower branches of a nearby tree, clearly visible to Kurama. The redhead smiled, unexpectedly comforted by Hiei's choice to stay at least within sight.

Contented he settled at the base of the tree, glancing up at Hiei's form above him. _'Be patient with me now and I will love you later, Hiei,'_ he thought with a smile. Then he closed his eyes and slipped quietly into sleep to dream of a black flame that warmed but did not burn.


	4. The Spell

Sorry for the delay. We just had every window in the house replaced last week so I couldn't really get on the computer. Also, I'm down to less than twenty days left before school starts up again so I've been busy getting school stuff done. Can you believe I had English homework over the break…and I'm still not done? Bad me. I have to finish that. One more thing, the soul reading scene back in chapter two was inspired by another fanfic I read years ago called "The Beginning." I would have said this earlier, but I couldn't remember what the name of the fanfic was. (Oh, and yes, "magick" is supposed to be spelled that way and I tried to make all the flower meanings as accurate as possible.)

**(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)(xxx)**

**Y**ouko sat dejectedly in the darkness of an old den he hadn't frequented in years. He had used it mainly for liquor storage and that is what had drawn him back to it now. Empty bottles littered the floor and clanged together as another was added to their ranks.

It had been two weeks since the bat had died. Two weeks since the Game had been abruptly halted. Two weeks since the youko's heart had been whole. He had come here seeking to fill that hole with booze, but the alcohol had only served to further irritate and infect the wound.

In a sudden fit the thief violently flipped the table, the shriek of glass breaking beneath the wood echoing through the cave. He stood there, panting and glaring at nothing, wishing to tear his own heart out if only to stop the pain. He had not cried, he would not cry. He refused to acknowledge that crying was part of grieving, in fact he refused to acknowledge that he was grieving at all.

The pain was unlike anything he had ever experienced before and with it came also an equally alien fear, a fear that even when the pain had finally passed someday he would find himself here again. If there was one thing he wanted more that for the pain to stop, it was never to experience it again. To do that, he had to make sure he never fell in love again.

With a sudden determination Youko stalked out of the room to retrieve the necessary seeds for his plan, ignoring the glass that bit into his feet as he went. As an animal spirit, Youko had a very good understanding and control of magick. Because herbs and various other plants were the main ingredients for most spells and incantations he had grown to be a fairly high ranking magick user. Coming back into the room, he set the table upright once more and placed the seeds, as well as a lighted candle and a bowl, upon it.

Love was a tricky thing to manipulate. Even the most powerful magick could not prevent love or force a person not to love indefinitely, but it could create love. Being uninterested in love, Youko had never preformed such a spell before. That does not mean, however, that he did not know how to perform it and he executed it now as if it were something he had done a thousand times before.

"I will not endure this loss again," he spoke aloud, sure that his liquor-induced plan was absurd and yet not caring in the least. "I will use love to prevent love!" His voice echoing in the darkness as though laughing in the face of every god or goddess of love in existance.

"I will love a person who does not exist and then this imaginary person will never be able to hurt me," he said, somewhat quieter. He picked up the first seed, feeding it his ki until a beautiful white ebony flower spread its petals before him.

"Blackness will dominate him, in appearance and in spirit," Youko recited the meaning of the flower as he crushed the delicate petals into the bowl. He paused as he realized he had just specified his non-existent love to me male, but decided he preferred it that way and continued.

The double blue hues of a fleur de lis joined the ebony as Youko specified, "He will have a flame about him, a great mysterious fire always burning."

"He will have endured grief and cruelty throughout most of his life," Youko continued as he added a bright orange marigold. A dash of red-stained orange joined the mix as a nasturtium was also crushed and its meaning revealed, "He will be a great warrior and conqueror."

A pink petunia was the next ingredient. The Youko paused before speaking its purpose, his sharp golden eyes softening as his dream lover began to take shape. "He will have deep resentments and anger towards many, yet his presence will soothe me."

Next, a red tulip and the youko's soft description, "He will have beautiful red eyes." The roses, the final ingredients, followed. He grew first a white rose and then, using his ki, deprived it of all moisture effectively drying the petals. "He will have a very strong sense of honor. Death will be preferable to him over the loss of his virtue." A yellow rose was selected after this. "He will try to care for others but it will be hard for him, at least at first."

Finally, the youko added the last ingredient: the small unopened bud of a blood red rose. "He will be pure and lovely and have a youthful beauty despite his age. He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet." With that he took up the candle and held it upside down over the bowl, igniting the crushed flowers inside. Smiling, he watched the petals brown and curl and knew he would be forever safe from loving again.

**(xxx)**

**K**urama woke with a start from the dream. But it wasn't a dream. Youko had cast that spell, all those years ago, and it appeared that its effects were not wasted.

"Oh gods, no," Kurama whispered, covering his face with his hands. He had only just begun to acknowledge Hiei's feelings for him and promised to someday return them, and now he discovered that those feeling might not even be real but just a byproduct of some drunken spell.

Looking up Kurama saw it was still dark, somewhere in the vicinity of three in the morning. Hiei was still asleep on his branch, barely visible against the dark night sky.

"Blackness will dominate him, in appearance and spirit," Kurama repeated the words from his dream, feeling as though he might cry any minute at the unfairness of it all. His eyes traveled for a moment to the black flames of the fire that still burned brightly in the dark. "He will have a flame about him, a great mysterious fire always burning."

Emerald eyes traveled back to his sleeping companion and Kurama nearly choked on his next statements as they too proved to describe Hiei perfectly. "He will have a very strong sense of honor. Death will be preferable to him over the loss of his virtue. He will have endured grief and cruelty throughout most of his life. He will try to care for others but it will be hard for him, at least at first."

By now Hiei began to stir from his sleep, awakened by Kurama's soft voice. Kurama, however, only continued with the description. "He will be a great warrior and conqueror." Frowning in puzzlement at that statement, Hiei blurred and reappeared a second later before Kurama on the ground.

"Fox, what are you babbling about?" Hiei asked, concerned by the look on Kurama's face. It was almost the same frightened and confused look the kitsune had worn after the soul reading.

"He will have deep resentments and anger towards many, yet his presence will soothe me," Kurama continued softly as though talking in his sleep. His brilliant eyes weren't focused on anything but seemed to stare right through Hiei to some distant point. Beginning to feel unnerved the fire demon knelt and firmly grasped the redhead's shoulders. Kurama turned his head to meet Hiei's stare, emerald boring into ruby.

"He will have beautiful red eyes," Kurama breathed and Hiei stiffened as the fox raised a hand to gently caress his cheek. "He will be pure and lovely and have a youthful beauty despite his age. He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet." Then suddenly Kurama was hugging him, burying his face in the half-Koorime's strong chest.

"I'm sorry," Kurama suddenly cried, choking on the sobs he was holding back. "Gods, what a mess I've made! What a disaster! What a—!" Whatever else it was Hiei never found out because Kurama suddenly went quiet and limp.

"Kurama!" Hiei cried, alarmed. He pulled the fox away from him to see the hysterics had been too much for the redhead's already overtaxed emotions. Kurama had fainted. Hiei sighed in relief as he gently laid Kurama on his back, the fox's head in his lap, and began to stroke the crimson locks.

Kurama slowly came back to consciousness. The first sensation he was aware of was being petted. He decided it was a very nice, comfortable feeling and one he was glad to wake up to. He subsequently retracted that thought as he awoke to find the one petting him to be Hiei and the memory of the spell came back to him. Kurama moved to get up, but Hiei held him down.

"Relax you crazy fox," Hiei reprimanded, "calm down or you'll faint again. What are you so worked up about?"

Kurama shook his head and closed his eyes. After a long moment, he moved to get up once more. He couldn't tell Hiei while lying in his lap like this, shattering the fire demon's heart while simultaneously playing the role of would-be-lover.

"Just let me sit up, Hiei," Kurama pleaded when Hiei tried to stop him from moving again. Hiei paused but let his hands drop, allowing Kurama to sit up. Kurama drew a shaky breath before looking at Hiei who was waiting expectantly.

"I…I think it would be best if I left now, Hiei," Kurama finally managed to say. Hiei looked at him in confusion.

"Now? In the middle of the night? Kurama…"

"I really think it would be best," Kurama repeated firmly, hoping Hiei would just let him go. But of course he wouldn't, not without an explanation.

"Why?" Hiei asked. The warmth and trust that had shone in his eyes the last few days was suddenly gone, blown out like a candle. Instead the old harsh coldness was visible in those crimson depths.

"Hiei, please," Kurama said quietly, looking at the ground, "I don't want to hurt you. Just let me go."

"Tell me why, Kurama," Hiei insisted, standing up and glaring down at the redhead.

"An old mistake," Kurama muttered, standing up as well. He turned to retrieve his pack. "Please, Hiei, just leave it at that." The fox yelped and jumped back as the flames of the black fire suddenly jumped six feet in the air, the heat scalding his skin.

"What about your promise!" Hiei roared. Kurama whirled to face him. He almost asked what promised when he realized what Hiei was talking about. He felt his eyes grow heavy with moisture.

"Hiei, that's just it, I can't…"

"Why can't you?" Hiei demanded. Hiei seemed so desperate, begging Kurama to stay. Kurama had never seen him like this before.

"Because it isn't real, Hiei," Kurama choked, the tears beginning to fall despite his attempts to stop them. Some of the anger left Hiei's expression at that and was replaced by confusion and pain.

"What are you talking about?" he asked quietly, as though he was almost afraid to know the answer.

"Hiei…" Kurama began but stopped as a mighty sob overtook him. He was crying harder now and, unable to support himself any longer, he fell forward to his knees. Hiei watched for a moment and then walked forward slowly and knelt before the distraught kitsune. Taking Kurama's face in his hands he gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. Leaning in he placed a gentle, chaste kiss to the redhead's lips. When he pulled back he moved one hand to stroke through the now calmer fox's long red hair.

"Whatever it is, just tell me, Kurama. It will be alright," he whispered reassuringly. Kurama licked his lips and then nodded slightly.

"After Kuronue died, Youko cast a spell so he would never fall in love again. Magick cannot stop a person from loving, and he knew that, so instead he cast a spell to fall in love with an imaginary person of his own creation. He…I…thought that falling in love with someone who didn't exist would keep me safe from really loving anyone." Now Kurama paused and looked at Hiei sadly. "The only problem is you do exist."

Hiei's eyes grew wide and it was a moment before he could manage to utter softly, "Youko Kurama cast a spell to fall in love…with me?"

"Yes," Kurama acknowledged, managing to smile slightly though it quickly faded, "and therein lays our problem." When Hiei opened his mouth to protest Kurama cut him off, "Hiei, you deserve to be truly loved for who you are, not because of a spell cast two hundred years ago. I can't do that to you. I've forced you to feel something that you might not have felt otherwise and I'm sorry but I can't continue this charade beyond that."

With that Kurama pulled away from his embrace and retrieved his pack. He hesitated, staring at the fire demon who stared back at him with such a look of utter loss and confusion that Kurama was forced to turn his head.

"You're still welcome to visit me at any time, of course," Kurama said as he began to walk towards Hiei with the intentions of passing him and leaving their campsite. "We are still friends, or at least I would like to be."

Kurama drew level with Hiei and just as he would have passed the smaller demon the half-Koorime suddenly grabbed his arm and spun him around. Hiei pushed his mouth roughly against Kurama's in a bruising kiss and backed the redhead into a tree. Kurama gasped in surprise and Hiei took the opportunity to pillage the fox's mouth with his tongue. When he finally pulled away both of them were panting.

"That had nothing to do with any damn spell!" Hiei growled huskily. His tone of voice alone made Kurama shiver but the redhead fought to regain himself. Finally he looked down at Hiei sadly and said only, "Can you really be sure?"

Hiei opened his mouth to reply affirmatively but stopped. He had never felt for another as he felt for Kurama. Could he really be certain that these feelings were real and not counterfeit having never experienced them before? He remembered the things Kurama had mumbled earlier, recognizing them now to be fragments of Youko's spell. 'He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet.' Suddenly the small demon felt himself be overtaken by doubt and despair.

Kurama watched the shadow that suddenly passed over Hiei's face and sighed. His heart ached to comfort the little demon but he knew that distance would be the best thing at the moment. When Hiei stepped back to allow Kurama to leave the redhead paused for a moment to reach out and cup Hiei's cheek as he had done earlier. The half-Koorime looked up and they stared at each other for a moment.

"Good-bye, Hiei," Kurama finally said as he let his hand drop and began again to walk out of the woods. Hiei watched him go silently. The flames of the black fire that had burned now for almost four days smoldered and went out.


End file.
